David Letterman once dove head-first into a vat of cheese during a “human chips and dip” bit on Late Night in the 80’s. It was art. It was comedy. It was beautiful. It was likely one of many moves that allowed him, 30 years later, to still have a spot on the board.
Jack Paar, Steve Allen, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Craig Ferguson, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel, that other whiny guy on ABC, Jimmy Fallon, and, please welcome, from studio 8G in Rockefeller Center, Seth Meyers.
In these iconic men we see our wacky dad, our dry witted neighbor, our standup comic uncle. We’ve proven over 70 years of late night television viewership to be a predictable breed; we want relatable, charismatic, sincere, and humorous hosts.
Seth is just that.
But did NBC call any of television’s most relatable, charismatic, sincere, and humorous late night gals about Jimmy’s old job? Did they consider Kristen Wiig or Amy Poehler or Tina Fey? Or did they go straight to Seth? Or on the other end of the spectrum, was Chelsea Handler ever a consideration or was her aggressive, feminist caricature more than NBC wanted to deal with?
Is late night network television a boys’ club, relegating talented women to the borders of cable TV, forced to polarize their audience with an hour-long string of “wait wait, I can hang with the boys, too” lewd jokes? Or are these chicks just sincerely like that? Was Sarah Silverman born with a silver spoon full of #%&$ in her mouth or did cable make her that way? Is the only way to make it as a woman to go blue?
It’s also interesting to note that the funniest women today are primarily noted for their wit, not their looks. But all of the aforementioned starlets—Tina, Amy, Kristen et al—would universally be described as beautiful. And they absolutely are.
But they’re funny first. They’re smart first. They’re talented producers, actors, directors, comediennes, writers, and icons of modern-day female humor first and foremost. No one’s trying to make them a sex-symbol to compensate for their lack of talent or make them more appealing. If Amy Poehler wears a hot dress to the Emmy’s, it seems it’s because she wants to wear a hot dress to the Emmy’s. We get the impression from these women that they’re like a lot of regular gals; they want to dress up and look nice every once in a while, not be the image that (edited because, well, you can’t really say that on OTBS).
It’s also interesting that these women aren’t pledging allegiance to the flag of semantic destitution. They might drop an f-bomb or a rougher joke on occasion, but it’s purposeful, it fits the situation, and it’s a comically smart choice for the scene, not the lowest hanging fruit. It seems from their years in front of the camera whether it be television shows, interviews, movies etc. that crass humor and showy sexuality are not such an integral part of their lives that they can’t get through an interview without an edit.
Culture will continue to chase what’s taboo, but most of us don’t deeply identify with Chelsea Handler. Does Chelsea Handler even identify with Chelsea Handler?
Network television has proven over and over again for over 70 years in every late night genre from Saturday Night Live to late night talk shows that propriety will always win over obscenity. In late night network television, unlike movies and cable, a broader audience will equal more money, not shocking buzz. Shocking buzz will get you pulled off the air. The male late night hosts have always been equal opportunity entertainers, gently pushing envelopes but staying in the lines to such an extent that they’re palpable, even if not preferred, by most Americans. You may like Jimmy over Craig, but it won’t be because you’re offended. It’s taste.
Would Ellen be as funny at 11 p.m. as she is at 4 p.m.? So why doesn’t that standard apply to women? Ellen DeGeneres is incredibly funny at 4:00 in the afternoon. Would she be less funny seven hours later? Would her widespread likeability translate to late night? By the standard we’ve set for men, it should. She’s not too sweet, she’s not too harsh. She’s clean with a touch of innuendo. Maybe she and every other woman mentioned thus far isn’t in the slightest interested in hosting a late night talk show on network television. But somewhere, some lady wants the mic. And when she gets it, what will have been the force that won it? Her talent or her sex-appeal? Her loyalty to smart wit or the laziness of her crude default?
This isn’t a “hey, why wasn’t Jimmy’s spot filled with a WOMAN?” rant. It’s a rant against the landscape of what women seemingly, apparently, have to be to “succeed” in late night talk shows. And again, success is defined as a million-viewers-per-episode cable slot held by Chelsea Handler. It’s certainly success, but it’s not mainstream, and it’s because she’s catering to a niche market of viewers who probably never loved the kind of people Jimmy or Leno are, anyway.
Someday, not because it’s fair but because it’s possible, a woman will take the stage and metaphorically dive head first into a vat of cheese, making history and building a lasting legacy. And if she does it right, prescribed controversy over what she said or wore won’t be the reason she makes it into the other guys’ monologues.
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Outside the Box Scores is an insightful and often hilarious sports an pop culture Tworce to be reckoned with, if you're into that sort of thing.
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